Had a tough night , or early morning , as it were . The pain was extreme , I think I fell asleep in my chair around 5 am . Didn't sleep very well there , so crawled into bed at 7:30 , and slept soundly until 1:30 . Still having some pain today , not as severe . My urine stream is weaker and more sprinkler-like than last evening , but it feels like the irritant has moved past my prostate . Still way better than I was 2 weeks ago .
  Today , Halloween , is the 10th anniversary of our first night here . We made arrangements to move in a week before closing . From that first night , this house feels like I'd always lived here , it has been very much "home" . Not many kids this time , the rain has been fairly steady all evening . At least it's not bitter cold or snowing . Many other towns moved trick-or-treat to tomorrow because of the forecast for this weather .
  It's getting late , I'm having some pain and discomfort , so good night , peace .

  Having a much better day than yesterday , bowels more settled . I had lain back down for a while this morning when I had a knock at the door . Our closest friends had to evacuate their home , so they came to us for refuge . The problem was resolved quickly and they were allowed home after an hour or so . I always enjoy their company but to have it in the middle of a weekday was pleasantly different . I made coffee for my guests and after they left decided to have 1 glass myself . This is the first in almost 3 weeks so I'm hoping it doesn't upset my digestion too much . Wow ! A few hours later I am doing well , when I get a sharp , stabbing pain in my nether regions . I don't know if I'm trying to pass a stone or what . It's a completely new type of pain , and it is excruciating . Thank goodness it doesn't last long , and it's only been twice so far .
  Well now , this evening I had another pain episode , thankfully very short . None of these has lasted long enough to justify medicating but shortly I'm going to take a preemptive Tylenol . I don't have much choice in over-the-counter analgesics because of the other medications I'm taking . The acetaminophen works ok but I worry about it's effect on my liver .
  The game is on and it's do or die for our beloved Cardinals . In the 5th inning 5-0 Red Sox , there is no joy in Mudville . And , at a score of 6 to one the Boston Red Sox win the World Series in game 6 . And sudden serious pain in the lower abdominal area . This one lasting much longer , after my first really normal urination since the 4th of this month . This leads me to believe the cause is a stone and the healthy flow has moved it a little . The pain is slowly subsiding but this was the longest duration , maybe 5 minutes , but not quite as intense as earlier . Whatever it is , I hope it resolves soon . Being able to make a stream without forcing it is more comfortable than what has been happening the last 4 weeks and I hope it continues . Having not slept well in several nights , I'm logging off . Good night , God bless , and treat others as you wish to be treated .

  Kind of a shitty day , diarrhea , rain , overcast and bad puns . Sorry , but words whirl inside my head constantly , and tend to arrange themselves in strange ways . Since this morning's runs , every time I feel the urge to pee , I also have to crap . I think this is because of muscle confusion from having a catheter in for 2 weeks , without re-training the bladder before removal . Anyway , I'm putting on a diaper and going to bed . Good day , all , and God bless .

  Having company , watching game 5 of the World Series . Our friends are over and our oldest daughter and youngest granddaughter . Now that my moods are chemically controlled I enjoy having visitors more frequently than before . Today has been quite pleasant , weather wise and pain wise both . My discomfort while urinating and defecating is at the lowest level so far , but I'm still working on muscle control for both functions .
  Well , the Cards lost game 5 , so the series moves back to Boston . I still think we'll take it in 7 . Having been a little distracted I haven't put much down here in the 5 hours or so it's been open , so I leave you disappointed once again . Good night , take care , God bless .

  Still in occasional pain , but it's a really nice day out . My youngest and his friend bought and grilled strip steaks and pork steaks , and we heated up the week's left over side dishes . This made for a wonderful lunch , thank you , boys . Then another of his friends came over to eat and mowed the lawn , probably for the last time this year . Thank you , Bobby .
  I believe I have mentioned before that my bowel movements have been more regular . They have also been firmer than they had been . The downside to this is that as each turd passes my poor injured prostate , it feels like a whack in the sac with a ball bat . Urination has become less painful but I seem to be using different muscles than before to force my bladder to empty . It feels like I am pushing in another direction or place to compress it . I hope no one has been offended by my candid postings about my medical problems , but it's a part of my life right now , and perhaps someone can benefit from my experiences . In a couple more weeks I can test the equipment to assure it's in working order . At that point I'm sure my whining will at least diminish some .
  My youngest has been home this week , they worked themselves out of work in New Orleans after a week . He leaves tomorrow for a short job in Utah , which will probably require more driving time than actual work hours . Utah being one of our beautiful United States I haven't visited , I'm hoping for a souvenir when he returns .
  Having been slightly more productive today , I am logging out and asking once again , be kind to one another , and to the earth we live in , and be thankful you have the opportunity to do so . Good night , and God bless .

  Yes , I know my productivity has been pretty low on here , not sure how long it will be before it picks up . I am really tired of always being tired . I haven't done much today but am thoroughly exhausted . I hope as I heal this goes away . Anyhoo , I will be lurking here while watching our Cardinals play in the big show . We have friends over so it will be a pleasant viewing experience .
  Our guests left early so we have the house to ourselves again for a while . The game ends in controversy and a win for the Cardinals . We need 2 more wins if we can , I just hope they're able to win them on skill , not Red Sox stupidity . Good night , all , and sweet , not sweaty , dreams .

  Another fairly good day , put on jeans for the first time in 3 weeks . Got up and did a few things around the house , and made hot rolls to go with supper . I had to go back to the smaller "shield" or sanitary pad , the pressure from the bigger ones was uncomfortable . Peeing good most of the time , but having some pain . Bowel movements put pressure on the prostate and can be fairly painful . I'm sure this will all go away in time . Looked over my medical records , labs , pathology and treatment notes , all is indeed benign . After we see about the liver , hopeful to get back to normal . Tired , again , so good day and God bless .

  My plumbing is working better every day , and the pain is gradually lessening . Mostly just a strong burning that I believe to be from my prostate , and when I'm sitting an occasional twinge from my testicle . All the involved muscles seem to work better if I walk around some before I try . I was up and down a lot last night , not sure but I guess this will balance out in time . The urologist hasn't told me yet if the Flomax is a continuing thing , but the script was for 30 days worth so probably . It seems to help in my current state , so maybe a continuation will be good . I am just thrilled not to continuously pee in a suitcase . I checked , I have 2 refills left .
  Had our granddaughters over for a while tonight , which is always pleasant . They are always so good for us , as are all the boys . Of course , none of them are "little" any more , the youngest grandson turned 5 yesterday . And the oldest at 16 plays football on an undefeated high school team , and bench presses 375 lbs..  Well , I'm going to close this out tonight with my fondest wish , that you all be excellent to one another , and lift up the less fortunate when you have the chance . Good night , God bless .

  Some pain today , generally not too bad . Had a few visitors today and expect some to return later . I haven't gotten out much so company is a delightful diversion . My next scheduled appointment is with the liver specialist , which is a consult so it will probably lead to more . That isn't until next month so I plan to spend a couple weeks in rest and recovery . There is much I need to be doing but most of it requires lifting and vigorous physical activity so those things will be on hold for another 3 weeks or so . I have been doing a little each day of things I can do , so as to occupy my mind and hands . This blog is one of those "light duty" things . At least when religion or politics doesn't have me all stirred up .
  Have friends over watching the World Series , I'm just listening as my desk is around the corner from the tv . The Cards aren't doing too well tonight , but I think they sometimes "sandbag" a little so their opponents don't look too bad . Have to let the Red Sox win at least one at home . We'll be able to tell more after a couple games . Once again , I leave you , fair reader , so long , good night , God bless .
 

  Having a much better day today , no catheter , no pain pills , and no uncontrollable urination . I can feel God healing me . I am indescribably thankful to be unattached (from the piss bag) , and having only occasional instances of pain . I feel more normal than anytime in the last 3 weeks . Yesterday afternoon I truly thought I might have to go have another catheter inserted ( it's not as gentle as that sounds ) , and I REALLY did not want that . Like I said , I'm doing much better so toughing it out was worth it . Hopeful to be able to sleep in larger increments tonight . Last night they varied from 10 minutes to as much as an hour , becoming longer as the night wore on . Had Campbell's chicken noodle soup and grilled cheese sandwiches w/ onions for supper , courtesy of my wonderful wife . Took my Flomax and can already tell the difference .
  I hope this is the beginning of an upward trend in my health and vitality . I need to be more productive in many areas , not to mention my creation and distribution of malarky on here . Good night , I have to practice sleeping without peeing , and peeing without screaming . Be kind and generous , and may God bless you .

  Got the Foley catheter removed today , almost no pain to that . Now having a painful evening trying to make the right muscles relax , after 2 weeks of no use . Getting better the last hour or so , hope that's a trend . I will be just phoning this one in , praying for a better day tomorrow . Also for my father , fighting his own health battles , and for my neighbor who was severely injured in a car crash last week . So , good day and may God bless you all .

  Boneless pork chops , potatoes and gravy , and asparagus spears . That last should make for lovely smelling urine . Slept away a part of the afternoon in my chair , got up to visit with our older son and his girlfriend , Nurse Ratched . Had that delicious supper and now feel I could sleep some more . I'll try to stay busy so I can rest tonight .
  Just below this post is a Google street view image of our Kampsville house . It doesn't sit nearly as close to the street as it once did . At the front was maybe 8 feet , with a hedge by the city sidewalk . On the north side , next to Rte. 108 , it was even less . The back yard was maybe 40 ft. deep , and at the alley corner was a small one-car garage . The full block contained a grocery/general store , an insurance office , a feed store , a jeweler , a barber shop , a roller rink with roll-up canvas walls , a telephone switch building , and a couple vacant commercial buildings . In the late 1960s the town was already in decline , we just didn't see it .
  Having written more today than I anticipated , I hope to be able to increase my output as my health improves . Literary output , not urinary . Good night , take care , and be good to each other .

  The house we lived in , in Kampsville ,IL . This is not it's original location , it was moved a half block south when the historical society bought it . It was at the south-east corner of the intersection of IL 108 and IL 100 .

  Had another pretty good day , slept late again , no more blood so far , discomfort not too bad . Seriously looking forward to being set free from my attachment . The only change I've made in my diet so far is to cut out coffee , which used to be my only daytime beverage . The last few days I've been having a glass or two of tea in the afternoons , maybe one soda every 3 or 4 days , but mostly water . The upshot of this is that my bowels are now more regular than they have been in years . I think for now I will limit my caffeine intake to no more than a cup , no more than 2 or 3 times a week . My appetite has been good and I have been eating my usual quantities , but have lost somewhere between 5 and 10 lbs. over the past week or so . Don't know if it's the trauma or the regularity but I won't complain . Gonna call it done for the day , God Bless .

  Got a call this morning from urology , I can get my cath out Monday . Still no official biopsy results , I will check that at the same time . Took my Flomax last evening , a couple hours later had some blood in my urine , I have to believe there is a connection , I was normal this morning and all day today . We shall see . Hope I don't have the same tonight .
  I need to ask about this fatigue , too . I am just constantly tired , for no good reason . I know this is short but I am out of energy , good night and God Bless .

  Good news at last ! I finally got the prostate meds I waited a week for , and await the nurse's call with a time to come over and get decathed . This medicine is for bph , or enlarged prostate . Some of the side effects include dizziness , drowsiness , chest pains , and painful , long-lasting erections . I just hope that last one waits until after the removal , I don't think the catheter is compatible with an erection . Theoretically , this will reduce the urgency of my need to urinate , which would be good . The brand name is Flomax , the generic is Tamsulosin Hydrochloride  . I assume this will be a maintenance medication that I'll be taking as long as it works .
  Had potato soup for supper , made by a friend of the family . Excellent choice for a cool fall evening . No matter how healthy I try to eat , I still can't shake the extra 50 or so pounds I'm carrying . Good day , all , and God bless you .

  We had some news today from the urologist's office , the Dr. has to read the results tomorrow before the nurse can officially inform me , but as nearly as she can tell my prostate is enlarged but not cancerous .  I also confirmed that the prescription the Dr. ordered last week was finally mailed . Hopeful to be set free by Monday . So , on top of the catheter discomfort , my rectum goes painful at times  , a burning sensation . Bet you were glad to hear that , right ? Anyway , this is one of those times , so I will continue my ramblings tomorrow . God Bless .

  After calling the urologist's , and being transferred to the pharmacy , my wife was told they were mailing my prescription today . That's what they told her last week , too . She asked about biopsy results , they said the nurse would call me . No call . I am beginning to feel frustrated . At least another week of having a plastic ball and chain secured to my winkie . I will be like a kid in a candy store when this comes out (my catheter) , able to dress normally and even leave the house .
  So , back on memory lane , we move to the little Illinois River town called Pearl , where there was another coal-fired electric generating plant . This in time to have some summer vacation , and start 6th grade . We rented a small house on a hill above the town , which had a big back yard for hide-and-seek and catching fireflies . My one strong memory of Pearl is the local undertaker , who everybody called "Coon" . He always dressed in a tuxedo and top hat , like a Dickens character , even for trips to the grocers . When we would encounter him , we would always say , "Hi , Coon , how's business ?" . His reply was ever the same . With a melancholy frown he would shake his head and say "Dead , just dead ." At the age of 11 I found it hilarious . We weren't in Pearl but a few months when we bought a grand old house in the next town to the south , Kampsville , just a block from the river . I will expound further on this place later , for many of my fondest memories were made there . Until next time , Good Night and Best Wishes to all of you .

  Well , hello . It's nearing midnight and after napping away most of the afternoon , I find myself awake and in the mood for music . Pandora , over-the-ear headphones , alternative one thing and another . I love music of all kinds , but it's not always convenient , or conducive to productivity , to listen . I have my ipod in my car , over a thousand songs of several genres , and I enjoy it while I'm driving . Around home , I hate to disturb the others so I don't listen loudly but leave the headset plugged in , so only I hear it , even not wearing them . Because of a certain paranoid fear of missing any odd sound , of not being fully aware of my surroundings , I seldom actually put the phones on my head . However , when I do indulge my desire for pure music , it's so enjoyable I find it hard to know when to quit . Right now : Sister Hazel  ,  "All for You" , what Pandora kicks up next , who knows ?
  After a week with the Foley catheter I truly hope the meds come tomorrow so I can see a firm date for it's removal . It is nice not to have to get up to urinate but my body still tells me I need to , so every so often I have to stand up and let the equipment think it's doing the job . The worst is when the actual catheter tube twists , ever so slightly . It feels like having a red-hot probe stuck into my urethra , which is especially annoying when it happens in the middle of the night . Anyway , maybe tomorrow I can get started on the new meds , and learn some lab results .
  In trying to reach some kind of "normal" sleep/wake cycle , I bid you adieu once again , until the morrow . Take care and treat others well .

  Feeling all right today , no real complaints , so I'll do a little more personal history . I've been trying to keep these fairly chronological , but may occasionally jump forward or back as memories return .
  Having completed 4th grade at Marshall , IL , north of West Union , we moved to Poole , KY . My Dad went to work for a small electric cooperative at a plant called Sebree . I don't remember much about living there as we were only there a short time . By the end of summer we had moved to a new house in a subdivision outside Madisonville , and I started 5th grade at Hanson , KY . By the time we left the next summer I had acquired the slightly "southern" accent I carry to this day . This was a new house , partially unfinished , 2 baths ,a master br. and a long dorm-like room all us kids shared . The attached garage was a single , with a narrow door . I say narrow because my mother scraped the fender trim off our new 1965 ford station wagon on that door opening . Not much here in the way of strong memories , except a couple incidents I may or may not talk about later .
  Took my last prednisone tab of a tapering dose series , prescribed for my all-over rash the same day I got cathed . That was this morning , spent most of the afternoon asleep in my chair . Still very fatigued , so I leave you for now . Good night , one and all .

  Actually got "dressed" today by modifying some pajama pants , had company , felt almost normal . Hopefully I will be disconnected from this by next weekend . I wish I could be out doing something in the beautiful weather we've been having . My lawn needs mowing , and all the outdoor stuff prepared for winter . I also have a renovation going on an old camper , wish I'd had it done to use this fall . As of now , though , light duty for another 4 weeks or so , then , barring anything else I should be up to doing some things .
  Tired of being tired . My bed calls even when I fall asleep in my chair . So , good day and God Bless .

  Once again , no meds in preparation for removal of the Foley , so now the countdown can't start until Tuesday at the earliest . No need to go to the toilet to pee , but tethered by a 5 foot hose to a rather clumsy assemblage of plastic components .
  A side effect of many of my medications is insomnia . Finally went to sleep around 8 this AM , slept till 2:30 PM . Now , at 6:20 PM I feel I could sleep another 6 or 8 hours no problem . At least I don't have to get up to piss .
  I have watched 2 very good baseball games , our beloved St. Louis Cardinal now lead the National League Championship Series , 2 games to none against the LA Dodgers . GO CARDS !
  I'm going to take a break here to re-plan my nap schedule . If I don't get back later today , good night , God Bless .

  Today was quite good , biologically speaking . Slept late , no bowel emergencies , but still no meds in the mail , so another day added as the wearer of a medical appliance . No problem checking the mail , just saunter out onto the porch in my undies and Foley bag , give the truckers a cheap thrill . I still haven't gotten labs back from my biopsy , but I did get an appointment for the GI specialist to consult about the cysts on my liver . They say that one of these is roughly 7CM ,almost 3 inches , and there are others . I had known of some of this for a few years , having been told by a hospitalist adding a ct scan , in order to turn mild flu symptoms into a $7000.00 ER visit .
 The GI consult will no doubt result in more biopsies and lab work , but I am praying the results aren't life changing , or ending . For several weeks now I have had a calm peace in my heart and mind towards this whole situation . I have faith in our Lord God and his Son , Jesus Christ , and I feel they will help me through this , no matter what . Somewhere in this I also lost my terrifying fear of death . I do not wish to , nor will I be happy to , die . Not because I fear judgement , or doubt the rewards of Heaven . Because I despair of not being here to share this earth with the people I love , and those who love me . So , as I said , I have had a life-long horror of dying . I have lain awake nights cringing in fear of death . I hear people talk of "making their peace with God" . I didn't , I have no war with God . He laid his hand on my heart and brought me peace . This was not some colossal epiphany , or a parting of a sea , but a gentle awakening of awareness , the feather touch of a loving God . He lets me know , I'm going to be fine , no matter what comes , live or die , I will be safe in His care .
  For me , starting this blog was a giant step . I have always had curiosity , imagination , and a desire to educate and communicate with my fellows . I have been told for most of my life I should write , and now I feel I must . Underlying every writer's drive , is a desire to share , to be generous with one's soul . Sharing of anything gives me pleasure , most especially things I choose to share without coercion .
  So once again , good day to you , my friends . God Bless you all .

  Another day of some discomfort but little pain , no pain pills today . The urologist's office called this morning and said they sent out a medication yesterday , that I have to take for 4 days before they will remove my cath . I do hope the package gets here tomorrow , this apparatus is an inconvenience , to say the least . I am still awaiting appointments from my gastroenterologist . I have been having bowel movements a little too regularly , and this morning my loving devoted wife rescued me when a 10lb. uncontrolled fecal eruption occurred about a foot above the toilet . I don't know how I'd get through this without her .
   As I am still quite fatigued I am closing this and preparing for bed . Good day , all , and health and prosperity to you and yours .

    OK , lets talk catheters . Specifically Foley urinary catheters . At present I am wearing one of these wonderful devices , which channels urine from my bladder to a graduated receiving container , thence to a plastic bag . This is not like the dainty little colostomy bag that some people with lower digestive problems wear . It's the size of a freaking attache' case . It has a fairly large hose from the appliance to an adapter which allows saline solution to be used to inflate the small balloon that stops it from slipping out of the bladder . From this adapter is a much smaller ( Thank God ! ) hose that is inserted through the urethra into the bladder . This was shoved into my pee hole about 4pm yesterday , because despite outputting urine constantly , I still had a "full bladder" feeling , pressure and quite a bit of pain . Keep in mind this is still four days after my surgery , I should have begun to feel better . After a long wait in a busy emergency room , numerous tests and imaging procedures , they did an ultrasound of my bladder , which showed contents of over a liter . I may have frightened the other patients with my screams as the tube forced it's way past my bladder outlet . They said this pain was from the catheter entering an already badly distended bladder . Regardless , it was the worst pain I have ever experienced that was caused by a medical procedure , however , thirty minutes later I decided it was worth the few seconds of severe pain to receive the relief of pressure in my lower innards .
  Yesterday , I took pain meds in the morning before leaving , and 2 over the course of the evening . Today , I have taken none , I have some discomfort but not enough for a Vicodin . I am definitely ready to have this cath removed so I can move without encumbrance , especially at potty time . After no bowel movement since Fri. , I pooped 3 times today , and I couldn't be happier . But believe me , it would be a lot more pleasant without maneuvering this bag and 3 feet of hose . Good evening and God Bless .

  Well , I'm back here , been on the DL since Fri. the 4th . I had a biopsy (actually a dozen) on my prostate , and a spermatocelectomy on my right testicle . A spermatocele is a fibrous fluid-filled cystic mass on a testicle . This one was more than twice the size of the testicle it grew on . The prostate samples were harvested with a needle , which accessed the prostate through the wall of the colon . Another of my doctors described it as feeling like someone stuck a bbq lighter up your ass and pulled the trigger multiple times . As I was having a surgical procedure in the same operation , I was given general anesthesia , and felt nothing at all once I was positioned for the procedures . The Nurse Anesthetist did a perfect job , out and back in like the flip of a switch , no hangover or nausea from the process , instant lucidity on return to consciousness .
  Rrreeeeaallyyy long day today , tomorrow more details of the procedures and their complications . Thanks for your patience , good night and God bless .

  Surgery yesterday , pain today . Full report when I am able , God brought me through , and I hope has allowed me many more years to come . Good night and God Bless all .

  Well , our youngest is back on the road , New Orleans again , they say 10 days on and 4 off , but they often redo the schedule , so we will see . He says it's hot , I don't think that will change any time soon . One advantage to working on a traveling gang is the variety of eating establishments , I would try something different every day .
  Once more I find myself out of things to talk about , so I'll get back to you , preferably with new content . Good Night , one and all .

  Sitting here at a loss , can't think of anything interesting to tell you . I am soon to have a prostate biopsy and spermatocelectomy , one to check my health and one to increase my comfort . Everyone keeps asking if I am ok , am I nervous ? Not really . I will be relieved once it's done , assuming all goes as planned . Hopefully , the tests will find all is well , and my discomfort is eased and I can resume my life as normal as possible . I hope that my bringing this up hasn't put any of you off , but it will be part of who I am , or was , in a few days . I have great faith in the medical team performing the procedures and providing my care , and my wife of 29 years will be by my side . Tomorrow I may talk a little more about this , as it is fairly common to men my age , but isn't talked about much . Good night and may God bless you all .

  Started a new cholesterol med this week , maybe that's why I'm so tired tonight . Seems like every time I get " normalized " , they change one of my meds then it's back to square one . All this time I believed it was the blood pressure pills , now I'm not so sure . More ramblings from a tired old man tomorrow , I have some things to catch up before my upcoming surgery . Take care of yourselves and treat each other the way you would prefer to be treated . That's the secret to a peaceful world , which is why we call it the Golden Rule .